Good Morning friends (if anyone is actually reading this)! If you haven’t noticed I completely gutted my old Instagram and started fresh. (follow here) I had been toying with the idea of starting over and deleting followers when I wrote that post on ‘what the Instagram blackout taught me‘ so that I could connect with people who actually wanted to follow me for me instead of because they were hoping for a follow back.
I realized how much emphasis I was placing on myself and on Instagram to validate me that I would panic and beat myself up when my post didn’t get more than 20 likes and zero comments. I would question what was so bad about my feed that no one wanted to visit it. I realized how much of my mental health was being compromised by putting this ridiculous pressure on myself to be liked. What was stopping me from realizing that I am more than my social media feeds? Why does the amount of likes or attention I garner make or break who I am as a person?
My energy was being put in all the wrong places. I was less focused on what made me happy and slowly conforming to what I thought other people wanted to see from me. I was tired, I was burnt out and honestly, I now feel a sense of relief. I have 100+ followers and feel like I am 100% engaging with the people who want to engage with me and that is what truly matters. I started writing this blog as a way to connect with people. To share my story of depression, to figure out a way to work through the stigma that is associated with it and connect to people who struggled also. I lost sight of that and I feel like I am not circling back to the beginning, going back to the roots and DYFB and hopefully I won’t get off track again.
Thanks. Thanks for following along, thanks for allowing me the space to grow and figure myself out every couple of months. It’s been a weird ride, but 2019 is the year of growth so bare with me while I continue to learn, grow and figure this life out.
Outfit details: Blazer - Gap (similar) White tee - Gap Jeans - Gap (similar) Mules - Kristin Cavallari/Chinese Laundry (sold out, similar here) Sunnies - Quay Australia