I was recently asked, “why are you so open with your struggle. Did your mom never teach you to keep things private?”
My first instinct was to go on the attack and get defensive. How dare someone question why and how I share my story? My story is my own, it doesn’t harm anyone and it features no ones struggle but my own so why wouldn’t I be brutally honest about how far I’ve come and how much further I have to go?
My story matters. My story of struggle and triumph allows people around me to connect with those around me on a deeper level, it allows me to lend a therapeutic voice to my pain and honestly, it allows those who are struggling in silence to connect with someone who just might look like them. You could be saving someone’s life by simply allowing yourself to be vulnerable. I will never stop sharing my story because everyday I struggle, I struggle to make sense of this moment in my life, I struggle with ‘why’ I keep pushing forward, why I continue to make the best of it even on the hard days and then I’m reminded by someone who slides into my inbox or shoots me an email that my struggle is not in vain – its helping someone.
I will always lend a voice to the those who are scared and lost because I understand what it feels like to be in that position. I remember when I was 18 and days away from my suicide attempt and I was lost and alone wishing I had someone in my corner who understood what I felt. Understood that intense feeling of loneliness that only felt better when I thought about no longer being on this earth.
I’m 28 now and my depression is under control (thank god for my therapist and the gym – more on that later). I’m active and spending time with family and understanding what it truly feels like to love and be loved in return and if I can take one thing away from this point in my life is that my struggle matters and allows myself to become vulnerable and share that struggle I am reminded why I’m here.
I am here to remind those who are lost and alone that their story matters. This is just a blip in your life and it will get better but keep writing, keep speaking out, never silence yourself because you never know who you could be helping.